A Love Discovered

One random day we get a call from our dear friend Aakash. He announces that he is finally getting married and we must buy tickets to attend his wedding which will be held in his little hometown in the south of India.  We can’t even pronounce the name of the town but we start our research with Aakash’s guidance on how to get there. We finally find a route and start planning our trip.

A few months before his call, Aakash came to visit.  He spoke about wanting to get married in the next few months. I was so curious to know how this love story came about. “I think my marriage will happen in two or three months!” he confidently stated. I eagerly asked, “ So, tell me about her, where did you meet? How do you know she’s the one? Have you met her family??”. Aakash  looked at me and smiled,  “ I haven’t met her yet, my parents are looking for her! But they’ll find her soon, so you must start planning your trip to India for my wedding!”.

I was so confused, fascinated and curious all at once.

Now, you must understand that Aakash is Tamil. People from the south of India have a reputation for being friendlier and more easy going than other indians.  Aakash is the kindest, most humble and respectful soul I’ve come across. He always carries a smile on his face.

I couldn’t let this man go without getting a piece of his thoughts. I had to know more. “What do you mean your parents are choosing your wife Aakash?”, “Wouldn’t you want to choose the person you will be with for the rest of your life?” “ What if you don’t like their choice?”. He smiled, and ever so calmly he goes on to explain that in his culture, parents arrange marriages. As a son, it’s a way to honor his parents. So in his heart he is confident that his parents will make the best choice for him.  To feed my curiosity even more, he then went into explaining how it works.

For both men and women, it all starts with a screening process. Parents and older family members will take on this role very seriously. This is done via social circles, community  or even advertising on marriage websites and local newspapers. A family gathering is arranged facilitating an initial meeting.  From there on, the couple have chaperoned courtship opportunities. By this time, if the family and couple are keen, they will continue to see each other alone. A few days later, a final decision will be made.

I’m not sure If I would be able to go through such a delicate process so “blindly”. Only relying on two of the most important, selfless people in my life, my parents.  To so confidently (blindly) trust that in their wisdom, they will choose the right life partner?…

But I do know that love is a choice.

For Aakash, all he needed was a few moments with his future forever bride, Sunita, to know she was the right one.  The one he chose to be loyal to with steadfastness and commitment.

My husband and I were proud witnesses to this beautiful wedding. Aakash and Sunita declared their commitment to each other before God and hundreds of friends and family.  It was a joyful celebration!

At times I would catch Sunita shyly look at her groom and lovingly touch his hand.  Aakash would confidently respond to her shy touch.   I could almost watch how they were discovering each other by the moment through gestures of  such genuine affection. They didn’t care about the hundreds of eyes on them!  This was their moment to finally discover love.