The Now

It all started in 2011-2012. We were living in Perth , Australia then.  At first I took the thought as “too big and crazy” then it became not that crazy but something I had to allow time to process. It was a hopeful desire that soon became very real and genuine.

All our friends were having babies and so the conversations always led to : “what about you guys? When are you starting a family??”. Rickus and I really never felt the hurry to start a family for we rested in the fact that God has His timing for everything so we were never faced with the peer preassure. We even made a concious decision to not explore fertility treatment for we just felt that wasn’t for us.

In my heart, adoption became my life dream and after much exploration I felt it was time to share with Rickus. At that moment it became a huge dream he needed to restle with for some time.  And when time was right, it became “our” lifetime dream and now we had to see how God was going to make it happen!

We explored the possibility of adopting from South Africa, Colombia and Chile. Each country made it impossible for us since we were from two different nationalities and living in a foreign country. So we continued to wait and hope.

September 2019,  we found ourselves in the Costa Rican government agency for adoption (PANI). (How we got here?? That’s another story!) The last words of the lady that gave us all the information on the adoption process that morning were: “ What are you guys waiting for? Just move to Costa Rica already?”

Finally we had a positive response!!! Our dream of adoption was becoming a reality as we were sitting at that office!!!….Yes, of course there were happy tears.

March 2020. We’ve been in beautiful Costa Rica for 9 months now! WOW. And after a long list of paperwork to get from our native countries, visits from the psychologists and social worker, attending a workshop on adoptions and looooots of waiting, on the morning of the   9^th of January,  we handed in all our documentation to PANI in San Jose to officially start our adoption process.  We now have a file number!

So now we are waiting again…and hoping. And it still doesn’t seem real! We have no idea if we’ll be blessed with a boy or a girl or two??Age?? What happens next??? Nothing. We were told to wait to be contacted and that’s what we’re doing.  Being practical me, I so much want to be a step ahead with “being ready” but yea, not possible when you are clueless in so many levels. We did what we had to do and now we wait. Is this how it feels to be a future mom?

In the not-knowing of it all,  Rickus and I have a peace. Yes, that special kind of peace.  We continue doing life in this beautiful jungle. As expats, we are learning our way around and finding our tribe, making all the preparations we can for the changes that are coming ahead and we continue to dream and hold on to HOPE. I often go to the hugeness of it all and try to fathom the magnitude of this life decision and when it becomes too much to capture and the unknown creeps in with fear, I find myself running to the Anchor. God is with us. And in that, I rest.